Lucan turned 13, and I’m close to 50. This prompt got me thinking about what I’ve learned as a father. Here’s a list of the most essential items for the current season.
1. If I’m going to set high expectations, I must pair them with unwavering love and support.
2. My rules are few but firm and non-negotiable. To maintain that tension, I cannot demand more than I give. High standards are accompanied by 100% effort on my part.
3. Carving out the space that allows them to argue reasonably has numerous upsides. The practice is on the “reasonable” part. This also helps us both see if I’m the one being unreasonable.
4. I offer fewer choices. I’m more guide on the side kind of dad. This offers more communication opportunities. My motto: Keep them moving forward and talking to me with each step.
5. I’m “dad” first, “friend” second. This line wants to blur as they age, but it must stay clear.
6. There are no free rides, but I support them entirely.
7. Love and trust are living, breathing things that can change with a flip. I stay humble because tomorrow brings new challenges.
8. When I’m stuck in a moment, I focus on the bigger purpose of being a firm and loving father. That way, I keep them close when I’m sweating over the small stuff.