The simplest way to build self confidence is to be a person who keeps their word. Not to others but to yourself.
Do what you say you’re going to do for you.
Even if it’s as small as telling yourself, “I’m going to the gym today.”
Go!
Every time you follow through, you teach yourself that your word means something.
By keeping the promises you make to yourself, by being a man of his word to yourself, you build un-shakability.
It cuts the other way, too, because once keeping your word to yourself becomes a top value, you begin to be more selective with your words.
It’s a privilege to exercise
If the gym or the place you exercise is the hardest part of your day, your life is not hard.
That place could be your living room.
It could be the track.
It could be your neighbor’s garage with the bench and squat rack.
It could be a trail run with your dog.
The options are endless.
Exercise is not suffering. It is nothing compared to what is actually hard.
You have music if you want it.
You probably have air conditioning, and if you do not, good. You are supposed to sweat.
You have aisles of supplements to choose from.
You have time to train, even if it is at five in the morning.
If you have no money, it is still free.
That is not hardship. It’s a privilege to exercise.
It is also your responsibility.
And the payoff? Better quality of life
If you do not have a regimen, message me. I have one for you.
Who is the GOAT?
A lot of people in the sports world debate about, “Who’s the GOAT? Was it Jordan or LeBron?” (Easily Jordan, okay!!!) People go back and forth. They dig up stats, highlights, rings, moments, etc.
Today, I’m doing something similar but with characters from the Bible, and really, it’s just me trying to make connections and practice my craft while showing my appreciation for the Good Book.
So, let me start with a “Who’s the GOAT?”-type of comparison.
Solomon vs. Jesus.
SPOILER: of course it’s Jesus, but…
Solomon was the guy back in the day. Super wise. Super rich. Charming and charismatic. The dude did well. One of my favorite people from the Bible.
People traveled from other countries just to hear him speak (including the Queen of Sheba. read 1 Kings 10:6-9). He even built God’s temple. And he’s the author of much of the Bible’s wisdom writings.
Total legend!
Yet in the end, bro messed up. Big time. He began to love money, power, and WOMEN more than God.
Solomon’s issue?
Well, it wasn’t a sudden fall, but a slow drift. Until his heart fell away from God. It sure is ironic that the dude who built the temple no longer worshipped the God it was made for.
Fast forward about 1,000 years…
Jesus comes along. He’s talking to the people. One day, he said something that caught my attention.
He said:
“The Queen of the South will rise… for she came to listen to Solomon’s wisdom, and now something greater than Solomon is here.” — Matthew 12:42
I was asking myself, “Is this Jesus dissing Solomon?”
Because that’s like saying, “Forget LeBron and MJ, I’m actually the greatest!” with the audacity of someone like Muhammad Ali.
Except Jesus wasn’t bragging. He was making a point.
The point is this:
– Solomon gave good advice, but Jesus IS the wisdom.
– Solomon built a building, but Jesus IS the place where we meet God.
It’s a “Doing” versus “Being” thing. No comparison.
Jesus’s point is — if people would travel to hear Solomon, how much more should we pay attention to what Jesus says?
Jordan was the GOAT in bball. But Jesus? He’s the King.
Jesus takes the win here. Solomon is sent to chase the wind.
Daily Writing in the Spirit of Yourself
A practice in presence, and a way to return to your own life.
You’re not here to become a better writer. You’re here to become more you.
You will write every day, just for a few minutes. Not because you have to. Not to impress anyone.
Because something inside you knows there’s more life to find. More to reflect, remember, redeem and reimagine. Writing helps you find it.
You don’t need to write perfectly. You don’t need a fancy journal. You need a small moment to notice, then a quiet moment to write it down. It’s more of a willingness than anything.
Think of it like this…
You’re planting seeds. Each one is small. Each seed is enough. Over time, those seeds will grow.
Three things to remember:
1. This isn’t desk work. It’s life work.
You’re not doing an assignment. You’re not getting graded. You’re paying attention.
The point isn’t to fill pages. The point is to notice something you might have otherwise missed.
Like the shape of your thoughts, the weight of a moment, the look your daughter gave you when you picked her up early from school for a daddy daughter date at her favorite restaurant.
Writing like this doesn’t sit still. It moves. It deepens. It brings you back to yourself.
2. Writing isn’t about writing. It’s about remarkable communication.
Years ago, I met a man named Ken. Sixty-two years old. He told our writing group,
“I’m dying from a rare form of cancer. I feel okay, but there’s something I need to finish. I’ve written these love letters to my wife, and I want help getting the communication right.”
That was the moment I stopped thinking of writing as “writing.”
Ken wasn’t trying to write well. He was trying to say something real while there was still time.
That’s what this is about.
3. Write in the spirit of yourself. Leave a trail of exploration behind you.
You’re not writing for the algorithm. You’re not writing to be liked. You’re writing to remember or express who you are.
Imagine your future self opening your journal five or ten years from now. What would you want them to see? What would you want them to feel?
Be honest. Be clear. Be simple. Say what happened. Say what it meant. Leave something behind for the one who’s still becoming.
Let me leave you with this prompt:
What tried to speak to you today that you may have otherwise missed?
That glance. That smell. That old feeling that rose up out of nowhere. Slow it down. Write it out. Give it a home on the page. You don’t need to explain it. You already saw it and lived it.
Who does this? Why we do what we do and how we find our place
“People like us do things like this”
-Seth Godin
People like me post notes like this on sites with our names [dot] com.
People like me drop off the car for an oil change and ride our bikes home (because it’s a beautiful day & we can).
People like me don’t wear earbuds or sunscreen. We bring books, not screens.
People like me write things down, take a stance, and get clearer on where we’re headed and who we’re becoming.
People like me write so our grandkids might find it someday, nod quietly, and tape it to the fridge.
People like me read the Bible all the way through with someone we love, one day at a time.
People like me get 50% custody on paper, but we’re 100% dad in practice. We don’t miss and don’t wonder where the time went.
People like me respect consistency and aim for alignment, where meaning, money, and love overlap.
We do these things not because they’re required, but it reveals who we are becoming.
“Those not busy being born are busy dying”
– Bob Dylan
Things like reading with intention, riding bike with the noise of nature, writing instead of scrolling, praying instead of complaining.
This is a line of defense.
Headlines scream atrocity, and I have to locate what to feel, and the media bludgeons me for its attention with nothing in return.
People like me are choosing something else.
We write to remember.
We read to stay awake.
We live like our attention matters.
At the least…
We’re exercising our mental muscle, keeping our brain sharp, learning and improving.
The best thing would be…
Someday, someone we love will read what we’ve written and remember how to pay attention, too.
Sound good?
Jousting with Masters
When Gene Hackman died not long ago, I got to reading a bit about Denzel Washington, and why he took the role opposite Gene in the movie Crimson Tide.
He said one reason he took the role was because he wanted to:
“joust with a master”
And so it was.
I do the same thing.
The 28 year old personal trainer calls me out. He’s ripped, he’s got the physique…
Out of the blue I get a DM from Bro the 28 year old chiseled trainer. Saying:
“Do such and such class with me at 10 a.m. the next day. LFG” is basically what it said.
I’m competitive, but I don’t mind losing when I’m jousting with the masters.
In fact I love losing, I love the taste of eating dirt. Because then I can make a comeback. Because then I can be an underdog that wins.
There’s a stamina in always being hungry. I feel sorry for the satiated.
As it turned out, Bro the fitness trainer underestimated “man strength” combined with being in shape…
Which I am!
Because man strength + in-shape will ALWAYS beat da youthful who just do it to look pretty in their boxers. They ain’t hungry.
And so it was.
What does this mean for you?
It means that it’s healthy to work at something possibly against someone (real or imaginary) that pushes you to “dig deeper” and “find the fire” within yourself.
Any day can be your January 1st
It doesn’t have to be Jan 1, which is just a celebrated reminder.
Today is March 18, and I will write here every day. Yesterday was the period at the end of the sentence, and today is the capital letter — a new sentence.
Let’s celebrate the reminder that every day is a chance to reinvent, which goes for any day. I choose today.
I’m always in motion. And, if I’m awake, I decide: forward or backward?
Today is a chance to start from scratch, and there is something beautiful about starting from scratch because all labels I ever claimed are now just vanity.
I am a zero. I don’t say I’m anything, everything starts, and I do or do not do.
I’m not looking for the end of the road; I’m at the first step and can see the next step. That’s what the New Year means to me and what today means to me as a writer who clicks publish.
Any day can be the “Jan 1” you choose, and today is mine.
Just for today
I am exactly where I want to be, for better or worse. I belong right here, right now.
Just for today.
I don’t know where I’ll end up. I am exploring. I have no goals. I am a wanderer. When our paths cross, I will be kind. I have no expectations.
I work hard, but nothing is for keeps. I will work harder yet. I promise not to hold on. Not today.
Today life has delivered me to each tree instead of the entire forest. Everything is less overwhelming, and there are no hassles.
Today I am off the Internet, and a connection occurs when I disconnect. My best reflections about experiences are those I have when “disconnected.”
Today phone calls, text messages, and emails are a suggestion, not obligations. Today an actual book is in my hand, and it’s beautiful. Today I will go to the library, not Google.
Today I didn’t read random articles on the Internet. There is no “information” I am missing.
Today I will do one thing and not talk about all of the other stuff.
Today “doing” is information. Today “doing” is experience.
Today, no desire, no possession, and no control. I have no longings or belongings, and fear is gone.
No miscommunication.
Today I’m not asking, ‘Why?’
Today I won’t make room for them if I don’t choose to do so, and I don’t have space for their opinion. I’m sorry if it’s been a bad day or life, and it’s not that I don’t care. Today I choose not to try to understand—even my stuff.
I am not seeking to accomplish anything today.
Yesterday that wasn’t the case, and tomorrow that won’t. But today? “Accomplishment” is something holding me down.
Today no one is judged or to be judged. Especially not me. No inner voices say I have or have not, and I can afford to give it all away today.
Today the things I know to be accurate are:
— I’m in the library writing this with pen & paper.
— I feel joy, and that’s a choice from the inside, not an emotion that’s given.
— I’m attractive and wealthy when charitable with my love, wonder, kindness, curiosity, friendship, and connection.
Today I have no goals. Yesterday I had plans. Today I’m not thinking, “Once I achieve (X), I will be (Y).”
Today nothing outside of me will make me happy.
Today I hold my hand while walking down the street, and in doing so, I will achieve all the goals I never made for myself.
Don’t take my advice today. If you read this, thank you. May our next step be lighter than our last.
Tomorrow the deck is liable to flip, and I’ll change my mind, but today this is what I know to be true.
The power of streaks
Streaks work for improvement because streaks build pressure to keep going.
What begins as commitment develops into a habit.
I assert that habits are easier to maintain than commitment.
In my case, I’ve started this blog and decided to journal for a professional cause publicly. In the process, I went from…
‘Should I write today?’ (commitment)
to
‘What will I write today?’ (habit)
That shift changed my entire posture.
It has also offered me a buoy from assigned client writing work, which can begin to feel like all work and no play. The right habit can feel like play.
Now I will continue writing. I will leverage this happy habit toward the continued growth of my writing craft. I will consider guest writing at other publications to help my writing business and look forward to reporting about that here.
One way to level up is to adopt a commitment and turn it into a habit. Document the process along the way. People like us call that meaningful work.
Small promises (to yourself)
Make a small promise (to yourself). Make a small promise to yourself and be on time. Continue to show up for yourself to keep that small promise on time. Fulfill this small promise again and again. Keeping a short-term promise will build your confidence and capabilities for more significant commitments in the long run. The long run is made up of several short runs.
For example, my small promise is to show up here every day for a year to write these small ditties. To show up daily with my personal writing for a professional cause. I believe if I persist in keeping this small promise, it’ll inform me about who I am supposed to serve and what my message will be, and it will earn the trust of contractors who are curious about hiring me.
What small promise are you keeping to yourself, and why does it matter?
Personal voice in professional writing
I write daily on this blog: simple writing, and more like public journaling – a personal voice in professional writing. Even if no one reads this, I would still write.
Why?
Because when I know I have to write something tomorrow, it forces me to think, form opinions, and invent ideas. It’s a daily exercise in a thoughtful examination of my world. I might say something that helps someone else. One of my opinions might stand the test of time. If I share it publicly, I will show up with the intent to form those perspectives and invent ideas.
And if someone printed one of my posts to put on the refrigerator or someone shared what I wrote with their team, that would be best.
I seek to leave behind this trail of exploration, day after day, week after week, year after year, and I can’t help but get better at what I do. I’m the type of person that wants to get better at what I do.
It starts as a commitment that evolves into a habit. I also love it.
Simultaneously, if you are reading this, and as a result, I earn your trust because of it, that’s the sweet spot.
Ultimately, my goal is to be trusted in a way that I can create awareness and make positive change. Writing this “blog” is the minimum viable way I can begin to do that, and it’s a start.
Let’s not call this a blog. Instead, it’s a personal voice in professional writing. It’s about taking the time to talk to the people who want to be talked to and earning their permission.
I won’t achieve that by manipulating SEO or the latest social media strategy. No, I gain trust and approval by showing up in a way that you’d want someone to show up for you. Right now, you and I’re sitting down for coffee to chat.
In short, I write these small things every day. It’s a habit. Therefore, I have to say something tomorrow. As a result, I’ll form opinions and invent ideas. In time, leaving a trail of exploration makes me better. My goal is to create awareness and positive change by earning trust. It’s personal writing within the practice of being a professional.
Insights on Fatherhood as My Son Turns 13
Lucan turned 13, and I’m close to 50. This prompt got me thinking about what I’ve learned as a father. Here’s a list of the most essential items for the current season.
1. If I’m going to set high expectations, I must pair them with unwavering love and support.
2. My rules are few but firm and non-negotiable. To maintain that tension, I cannot demand more than I give. High standards are accompanied by 100% effort on my part.
3. Carving out the space that allows them to argue reasonably has numerous upsides. The practice is on the “reasonable” part. This also helps us both see if I’m the one being unreasonable.
4. I offer fewer choices. I’m more guide on the side kind of dad. This offers more communication opportunities. My motto: Keep them moving forward and talking to me with each step.
5. I’m “dad” first, “friend” second. This line wants to blur as they age, but it must stay clear.
6. There are no free rides, but I support them entirely.
7. Love and trust are living, breathing things that can change with a flip. I stay humble because tomorrow brings new challenges.
8. When I’m stuck in a moment, I focus on the bigger purpose of being a firm and loving father. That way, I keep them close when I’m sweating over the small stuff.