March 2023 – Eric L. Walker

50% custody, 100% dad

Although my children’s other parent and I share equal physical and legal custody (50/50), I am fully committed to being a father and being involved in my children’s lives even when they aren’t physically with me.

This means I prioritize spending quality time with them when I have them and staying involved and engaged in their life even when they are not physically present. It means I am committed to providing my children emotional support, guidance, and stability, regardless of custody arrangements.

50% Custody, 100% Dad means I have made doctor and dental appointments, and I have researched and pursued other vital matters such as braces or not, such as speech therapy, and who to call. I have signed each of the children up for sports and purchased the necessary equipment for said sports, and attended every game. I have coached my son’s football team. I have been involved in my children’s academic progress. I have spoken with teachers about matters. I have attended conferences. I have created one-on-one play dates. I have followed up on themes that enrich each child. I have purchased clothing and shoes as necessary. I have made it a priority to arrange my schedule so that I am available. I take them to school each morning and pick them up in the afternoon. And now it’s Sunday, and I’m playing board games in the living room while watching the meatloaf in the oven.

“50% custody, but 100% dad” expresses my dedication to being an active and engaged father, regardless of custody arrangements.

I love them! They are worth 100% of my commitment.

Send a card to someone you appreciate in the mail

Not a text, not a DM on social, not an email. Not even a phone call. This is an envelope with a stamp the delivery person brings to your mailbox.

Imagine the recipient of said note when they check their mailbox. Unsuspecting of this remarkable communication they are about to receive.

Typically, they would sift through credit card offers, coupons, and ads. Nothing unusual or exciting. Nothing to take notice of.

Yet on this particular day, mixed in with the junk mail, is the envelope from you. Something different.

You now have their attention.

The pull of this envelope is more potent than a 15-second Tic Tok video and more urgent than scrolling news headlines. Almost nothing on a screen can compete with your note.

They will even put their phone down. Opening the envelope requires two hands.

Congrats, you have cut through the noise. And you’ve done so with the most authentic intentions.

Curious. They waste no time opening the envelope. Then read something you wrote just for them, which feels positive and uplifting, and they feel appreciated.

In that moment of appreciation, they have zero negative feelings. They are filled with goodness. You have just made their moment.

This gesture may cause the grateful recipient to perform a similar act and pass it forward.

The simple act of following up on your kindness promptings will change the world.

Imagine if you made this five-minute habit a daily practice and wrote something worth sending daily for a year. One person at a time, day after day. It compounds.

Would this make a positive difference in the world? Your world?
Could this be the righteous act that conscientiously objects to taking sides, joining tribes, or making others wrong?
Could this be the path of positive resistance you’ve been looking for?

I believe it’s worth a try. I have started and stopped and started again with this practice.

I can report that this happy habit won’t just rock the world of others but also your world. With consistent practice, your attitude, your ideas, and your entire trajectory will begin to improve.

Before you know it, you’ll be looking for the good in your daily encounters, and when you’re looking for the good, it’s impossible to be looking for the bad simultaneously.

If you’re the type of person that looks for the good, the good will find you. You become more “attractive.”

Let’s say you decided to try this for a week. Seven consecutive days. Who would be the first recipient, and what would you communicate?

Progress

Progress doesn’t arrive if I retreat into isolation to perfect my work. I never emerge with a masterpiece. Instead, I evolve in public, which means showing up and being prepared to deliver. I don’t find it comfortable to think aloud or persist through failure to produce “good enough” work. Yet that’s how I’m getting better. Day by day. Assignment by assignment. Client by client. Blog post after blog post. Drip, drip, drip. I show up ready to my home office. In doing so, I refine and deliver – through personal practice, collaboration, mentorship, and ultimately the market. This awareness is part of the work. The idea lends itself to anything worth pursuing.

Getting in tune

Starting each page with the date is surprisingly helpful, not just for keeping track of the writings. It’s a signal to begin, meaning I can start writing without inspiration. The pen is in motion, or the fingers clatter across the keyboard, and I’ve taken the first step and am ready for the next. When I do this every day, the mundane comes to life.

What is something you do that sets the ritual in motion so you are in tune to run free?

Writing in a public journal is what I call a blog

I write in a journal because it’s my means of being accountable and honest with myself. I write in a journal because I collect small moments from life to add my thoughts and responses, making them mine. From that place springs what I write publicly. I write publicly because I believe that committing to having a point of view and scheduling a time and place to say something is improving my thinking, attitude, and trajectory (and I’d do it even if no one was reading).

If you also feel this way, we belong to the same gang!