The suit won’t burn

Once you’re Spiderman, you’re Spiderman for life. Forever. The suit won’t burn, and it’s flame resistant. That’s the point.

You try being Spiderman.

You get crazy calls in the middle of the night. Calls from the Chief of Police asking to catch a burglar trying to rip off the new flat-screen T.V.

Spiderman doesn’t care about the T.V.

Yet he pulls on the suit. That stinking suit. Because he didn’t get around to washing it yesterday.

And it’s hot with those sucker cups on the fingers. The bundle of ropes and a little package of equipment is cumbersome. He puts on the suit, anyway, and it’s his job.

Only Spiderman can put on that suit.

Off he goes. He is flying out from his living room window, swinging from rooftop to rooftop.

Until there is the poor, dumb burglar, the Chief called about. He is humping the T.V. on his back to the get-away car.

So Spiderman does what he does. First, he falls on him. Wrestles him, and just enough to whoop him. Then tie him up—no big deal.

You might think something big will happen to you when you’re Spiderman. That’s only in the movies, and it doesn’t happen that way – not even for Spiderman – in real life.

Nothing happens.

The Chief calls, and he goes.

The burglar gets an ass-whooping. Spiderman leaves him for the police.

The Chief calls again. Same story, different day.

Once Spiderman considered something different. He thought he might try something exciting like racing cars and something to make his heart beat at a different rate.

But once you’re Spiderman, you’re Spiderman for life. Forever. No turning back.

The suit won’t burn, and it’s flame resistant.

Maybe that’s your problem. Who knows. Perhaps that’s the entire problem with everything. But really, it’s an unknown blessing. Who you are is the best part once you figure it out.

Nobody can burn their suits, and we’re all flame resistant.

Embrace the mess

Embrace the mess, and finish the dishes.

Embrace the mess, and keep up on the laundry.

Embrace the mess, and cut the grass.

Embrace the mess, and make your bed in the morning.

Embrace the mess, and show up sprite for work.

Every day there is something that must get done well, and there are problems to solve standing in the way. A phrase I often say to myself is,

Embrace the mess, and __________ (fill in the blank with any mundane household chore).

I say this to myself often, especially when there’s an ordeal, and the stress is prolonged. The phrase reminds me to be willing to accept disorder and take action to manage it. Practical steps like one foot in front of the other steps. Slow steps. “Embrace the mess” is never in a rush but always moving forward.

Whatever you insert into the second half of the phrase is an encouraging reminder that you must tackle it regularly. Doing so helps keep it under control and prevents your immediate environment from being stressful. If my environment is organized and efficient, I focus better and frees free time.

For example, a simple task like making the bed can bring a sense of order and control to a chaotic day. It sets a positive tone for the rest of the day because no matter how difficult the day ahead might be, you know the comfort of collapsing onto a made bed.

The “Embrace the mess” mantra helps me keep a positive and proactive mindset towards disorder in different aspects of life.

Today it was Embrace the mess and write the blog post. I’m glad I did.

The uncomfortable choices are obvious

Picture this: You find yourself mindlessly munching on a bag of sunflower seeds. Before you know it, you’ve eaten 200 of them.

Those 200 sunflower seeds could have turned into 20,000 in just a few months if you had planted them instead.

This analogy illustrates the power of investing in the future.

I am thinking about the tough in-the-moment choices I have to make to invest in my long-term growth. This is often uncomfortable, even if it’s obvious.

I say no to short-term pleasures to say yes to my ideal future. Not my ideal “now.” This means being intentional with my time and energy.

Especially now. My day job is busy, and my freelance marketing and writing hustle is growing. I am making sure that my actions align with my values and aspirations.

It’s easy to be caught up in the day-to-day and lose sight of the big picture. Worse than that is to be caught up in the day-to-day, aware of the big picture, but missing the follow-through.

Day after day, of focusing on the sunflower seeds in front of us, instead of planting them and nurturing them to grow into something more significant.

I want to achieve my goals and positively impact the most important people in my world.

The uncomfortable choices are the most obvious. Give up the instant gratification of eating sunflower seeds now to plant them and wait for them to grow later. The rewards of delayed gratification are much more significant. Sacrifice in the short term reaps much greater rewards in the long term.

Again – the uncomfortable choices are apparent. Are we following through on the obvious?

So, rhetorically, I’m asking you because I’m asking myself, Who are you saying no to, and who are you saying yes to when it comes to the time you want to invest in your ideal future?

I won’t be afraid to make uncomfortable choices and invest in the future. The seeds I plant today can grow into something extraordinary tomorrow.

Yoda said, Do. Or do not. There is no try.

“I want to be ______ when I grow up”

I sometimes hear my kids’ fill-in-the-blank:

“I want to be a movie star when I grow up.”

“I want to play in the World Cup when I grow up.”

“I want to be (insert something famous people do) when I grow up.”

Or their desire for a job when they grow up orbits around being paid a lot, not having to work too hard, and no one telling them what to do. Because that’s the antithesis of school.

These replies almost always fall under the category of “famous.” And so I often reply with the question, “How will that be important?”

I profess they want a chance to make a difference – for themselves, others, and those they choose to serve. Aim for making a difference because that’s important. Notice the difference between “famous” and “important.” We all – deep down – want this. Discovering this truth makes a life worth living.

I want to provide my kids awareness around choosing “jobs” or “careers” or “projects” that have significance, where they are treated with dignity and respect (and therefore learn to give it, too). But mostly, this is the environment where they will receive a chance to exceed their expectations of what is possible. And that’s an excellent way to live life.

What they don’t know yet, and what no kid knows yet, is that the sweet spot for “I want to be ______ when I grow up” is to engage with the people you work with to do work that matters with people that care to make a difference.

The type of people that do work that matters with others who care to make a difference are remarkable people. Those are the type of people that exude something that makes us remark to ourselves or others about them. And that is legacy.

Empty hands

He crumpled his napkin at dinner yesterday and let it drop onto his plate. With a gesture of surrender, he signaled that he was finished with his meal. I sat across the table from him, struck by the truth of his gesture: before we can fill our hands with something new, we must empty them first. This applies to our hearts as well.

I’ve often struggled to learn this simple lesson. Holding onto one thing too tightly prevents us from embracing anything else that comes our way. We see this played out in movies, where the drama of stepping into the unknown requires letting go of something familiar.

After my wife and I split, my six-month-old son and ex-wife moved out of state, which caused me a lot of emotional pain. We lost contact during his early childhood, and I held onto his memory tightly, fearing he would fade from my heart and mind. It took a while, but things eventually improved. However, I spent years missing out on crucial things that were right in front of me. It wasn’t until I recognized I was holding onto my past too tightly that I could move forward.

True healing can only occur when our hands are open, and our hearts are free. We can’t move forward if we’re holding onto stones or fisting the past.

This is why courage is necessary. We must have the will to let go and empty our hands, even if it means turning our backs on what we think might be missed opportunities. We must move forward on our journey. Our hearts will heal, and we will find new milestones.

So chin up! Put down your pain, and walk into the next chapter of your life with open hands and an open heart. Your transformation has already been written, and it’s waiting for you to embrace it.

Bravery

Along the way, there have been tests and many more to come. I’ve met and made allies and enemies. There have been ordeals and showdowns. Difficulties have been the norm. My worst fears have trickled in here and there. Sometimes it floods everything. When we survive this, we are heroes and should give ourselves more credit than we do. The reward is knowledge, experience, and insight that equates to wisdom in the long run. I put my struggles in a noble context. The trials and tribulations I have faced and survived may not seem heroic. But knowing that I grow as a result, that it can make me a better person, makes it easier to relax and sit in the moment wiser for the time. And without needing to explain it away, either. That’s what I call bravery.

Barefoot grateful script

I have an idea I could pursue, and I’m sharing it here to put it in writing for
1). to remember this idea for myself and
2). for you to have it and run with it.
3). to practice writing a script, which I’ve seen advertised on freelance job boards.

This would look like a video or an audio short.

It’s called Barefoot Grateful, and the idea is to replace an unhealthy habit (marijuana smoking) with a healthier habit (grounding, gratitude, and breathwork).

[Eric is standing outside, with bare feet on the grass]

Eric: Hello, this is Eric L. Walker, and welcome to day 2 of my 60-day journey of not smoking marijuana. As part of this journey, I’ve decided to trade my habit of smoking marijuana for a healthier practice.

[Eric takes three deep breaths]

Eric: Instead of smoking weed, I’m grounding myself by putting my bare feet on the earth and taking three intentional deep breaths. Doing this allows me to connect with myself and nature and appreciate the fresh air around me.

[Eric pauses for a moment to reflect]

Eric: I’d like to share something positive with you. Today, I’m grateful for my health and the opportunity to make positive changes in my life. I pray for strength and determination to continue this journey, and I’m excited to see where it takes me.

[Eric smiles]

Eric: If you’d like to join me in this practice, all you need to do is kick off your shoes and put your bare feet on the earth. Take three deep breaths and share something positive with yourself or someone around you. It’s a healthy practice that can bring you closer to yourself by doing something intentionally and helping you cultivate gratitude.

[Eric takes one last deep breath]

Eric: So until tomorrow, I’m Eric L. Walker, sky-gazing, sunbathing, grounding in, growing in gratitude and grace. Thank you for joining me today, and I hope to see you again tomorrow.

Perfect solution

The perfect solution to your money problems; health problems; relationship problems; or whatever problems don’t appear out of the blue. It’s challenging to start working toward solutions when you don’t know what the end looks like. That’s when you get stuck. My advice is to start down the wrong path right now because I’ve been there so many times. It’s messy, but if you start moving immediately, you cannot help but improve. It’s a series of intricate moves, but you’ll find your way back to where you belong. Go now!

Forward motion

As someone who has worked as a general employee, manager, school teacher, and independent freelancer, I know that the key to success is consistent forward motion. As a freelance marketer and content creator, I partner with owners, directors, decision-makers, and influencers to create forward motion, whether they have a specific goal or are simply adrift. We can achieve this forward motion by committing to a project and owning the work.

Focusing on the work and avoiding distractions is essential to keep moving forward. Whether I need to take the lead or work collaboratively, understanding the difference I can make is critical to my success.

I’ve learned that generosity is essential in building solid relationships with others with whom I share the vision. I can attract the right connections and build a supportive network of connections by sustaining that generosity over time.

Another vital aspect of forward motion is the power of connection. To make progress, we must be willing to partner with others and build strong relationships, which is an integral part of any project.

Creating value in the marketplace is the best way to gain forward motion. It may take some time, but patience and persistence will attract the right opportunities and connections.

Ultimately, forward motion requires a deep commitment to the work, a willingness to connect with others, and a belief in the power of what you’re doing. Since deciding to re-engage as a freelancer in September 2022, I’ve understood these principles’ importance. I am excited to continue on this journey of growth and progress.

50% custody, 100% dad

Although my children’s other parent and I share equal physical and legal custody (50/50), I am fully committed to being a father and being involved in my children’s lives even when they aren’t physically with me.

This means I prioritize spending quality time with them when I have them and staying involved and engaged in their life even when they are not physically present. It means I am committed to providing my children emotional support, guidance, and stability, regardless of custody arrangements.

50% Custody, 100% Dad means I have made doctor and dental appointments, and I have researched and pursued other vital matters such as braces or not, such as speech therapy, and who to call. I have signed each of the children up for sports and purchased the necessary equipment for said sports, and attended every game. I have coached my son’s football team. I have been involved in my children’s academic progress. I have spoken with teachers about matters. I have attended conferences. I have created one-on-one play dates. I have followed up on themes that enrich each child. I have purchased clothing and shoes as necessary. I have made it a priority to arrange my schedule so that I am available. I take them to school each morning and pick them up in the afternoon. And now it’s Sunday, and I’m playing board games in the living room while watching the meatloaf in the oven.

“50% custody, but 100% dad” expresses my dedication to being an active and engaged father, regardless of custody arrangements.

I love them! They are worth 100% of my commitment.

Send a card to someone you appreciate in the mail

Not a text, not a DM on social, not an email. Not even a phone call. This is an envelope with a stamp the delivery person brings to your mailbox.

Imagine the recipient of said note when they check their mailbox. Unsuspecting of this remarkable communication they are about to receive.

Typically, they would sift through credit card offers, coupons, and ads. Nothing unusual or exciting. Nothing to take notice of.

Yet on this particular day, mixed in with the junk mail, is the envelope from you. Something different.

You now have their attention.

The pull of this envelope is more potent than a 15-second Tic Tok video and more urgent than scrolling news headlines. Almost nothing on a screen can compete with your note.

They will even put their phone down. Opening the envelope requires two hands.

Congrats, you have cut through the noise. And you’ve done so with the most authentic intentions.

Curious. They waste no time opening the envelope. Then read something you wrote just for them, which feels positive and uplifting, and they feel appreciated.

In that moment of appreciation, they have zero negative feelings. They are filled with goodness. You have just made their moment.

This gesture may cause the grateful recipient to perform a similar act and pass it forward.

The simple act of following up on your kindness promptings will change the world.

Imagine if you made this five-minute habit a daily practice and wrote something worth sending daily for a year. One person at a time, day after day. It compounds.

  • Would this make a positive difference in the world? Your world?
  • Could this be the righteous act that conscientiously objects to taking sides, joining tribes, or making others wrong?
  • Could this be the path of positive resistance you’ve been looking for?

I believe it’s worth a try. I have started and stopped and started again with this practice.

I can report that this happy habit won’t just rock the world of others but also your world. With consistent practice, your attitude, your ideas, and your entire trajectory will begin to improve.

Before you know it, you’ll be looking for the good in your daily encounters, and when you’re looking for the good, it’s impossible to be looking for the bad simultaneously.

If you’re the type of person that looks for the good, the good will find you. You become more “attractive.”

Let’s say you decided to try this for a week. Seven consecutive days. Who would be the first recipient, and what would you communicate?

Progress

Progress doesn’t arrive if I retreat into isolation to perfect my work. I never emerge with a masterpiece. Instead, I evolve in public, which means showing up and being prepared to deliver. I don’t find it comfortable to think aloud or persist through failure to produce “good enough” work. Yet that’s how I’m getting better. Day by day. Assignment by assignment. Client by client. Blog post after blog post. Drip, drip, drip. I show up ready to my home office. In doing so, I refine and deliver – through personal practice, collaboration, mentorship, and ultimately the market. This awareness is part of the work. The idea lends itself to anything worth pursuing.